#131 – Blunt
Posted on June 18, 2012 at 12:00 am by Chris
Chapter: Comic
“Hmm, should I use the floor lamp? No, I’ll just swing and hit the door frame. There’s the bowl of pennys on the dresser. Maybe a handful of those on the intruder’s face? Hmm, maybe I should keep a bowl of marbles to throw on the floor as well. I should have thought of this before going to sleep.”
Tags: decorating, intruder, lamp
There was a period of time after reading a certain Creepypasta entry, of all things, where I kept a folding knife clipped to the wristband of my watch while I slept. x.x
Might I recommend 12 gauge, for all your intruder needs.
i always sleep with a length of lead pipe under my pillow.
Other than the occasional unfounded paranoia, I’m usually pretty confident that there is no intruder when I hear a noise.
The sound was my cats. If it had been an intruder, then at least one of the cats would be meowing at him for food.
I have my Beavis Bat, inspired by the Beavis and Butthead episode where they tried to enter a American Gladiator-style competition. Their pugil-stick was a boxing glove on the end of a bat. Ended up being used in the Sega Genesis game.
For those that prefer not to have a firearm in their home, put a can of wasp/hornet spray by your bed. It shoots accurate up to 10 to 25 feet (depending on the brand) and does wonders to the person’s face even if you hit them in the chest because of the toxic fumes.
Personally, I like the .45 I keep next to my bed, though.
It’s a polka record, isn’t it?
Relatives (in TX) kept a shotgun in a laundry bag, on the back of the bathroom door. If you could make it to the bathroom and lock the door, there was a chance the spiders hadn’t taken up residence in the barrel, and the moisture in the room hadn’t rusted the poor ‘ol thing solid…