Did you event try to tie your own shoes? Let me see you try. Well you don’t need to throw things! Just calm down! Here let me do it! How did you even become manager of this bank without this skill?
“How did you even become manager of this bank without this skill?”
Two words: Velcro Shoes.
When I was little, before I was allowed to have velcro shoes, I had to prove I could tie shoes. Once I learned how to tie shoes, showed that skill to my parents, and got a pair of velcro shoes, I promptly forgot how to tie my shoes again. (Sure, I eventually relearned it again later, but still.) Part of me wants to make that into a commentary about the education system, but… meh. Too lazy. ^_^
After I learned a couple of tricks from the ‘net about tying shoes a certain way that both keep your laces from coming undone by themselves (no complicated manuevers and still can be undone with one tug), my shoes have been less trouble.
The website lists a number of other shoelace-tying methods, but that one in particular (which is a double-slipped ligature knot) is both as easy to tie and as quick to undo as more the more common, far less secure method. I’ve been using it for nearly 20 years now, without it ever once working itself loose.
that’s funny – i almost wasn’t allowed into the first grade because i refused to tie my shoes. the story goes something like this:
i have a brother. we fought like brothers do (we tried to kill each other all the time, lots of anger, childish stuff). our mom had to institute a house-rule in order to reduce fighting over who was responsible for putting things away after we both used them. “whoever takes it out, puts it away; whoever opens it, closes it”. you get the idea… so from then on there was at least no ambiguity as to which of us was responsible (though we still fought like honey badgers).
fast forward to the days just before the 1st grade. the above rule had been in effect for so long that it was ingrained in our behavior, it defined part of moral code and was an absolute truth. i waited in line with my mother, a long line of kids waiting to be evaluated to see if we were ready for the 1st grade.
I got to the front of the line. the heavy set 1st grade teacher asked a few questions about sharing and getting along with others. she was obviously exhausted, having questioned dozens of kids ahead of me, her patience was fading. she then proceeded with the fine motor skills test, just as she had for previous kids. without explaining the purpose to either of us, she fell to one knee and untied my shoe.
“ok little man, can you please tie your shoe for me”, she said. and just then i figured out the purpose of this test. all those other kids had failed, you see, for they had bent over and tied their shoes when asked but I KNEW BETTER! this was a TEST after all! and the moral code, the rule of responsibility, was CLEAR to me!
“No”, I simply stated, “you untied it, you tie it up”. Exasperated, the teacher asked me just once more to tie my shoe. I responded somewhat more enthusiastically this time and her patience completely evaporated. She didn’t even look at us as she brushed us aside and announced, “Next please”!
The small team of record keepers standing behind my would-be teacher dutifully recorded my failure and noted my disobedient behavior. “Well, you should teach your son to tie his shoes and to do as he’s told; then come back next year”.
My mother protested, but was losing the fight. We began our retreat and I explicitly recall the look of disappointment on my mother’s face. That look was the most excruciating punishment my mother ever used on me, but I didn’t think it was for me: I though t she was disappointed in the foolish teacher and her record keepers that didn’t understand the simple undisputed rules of responsibility.
As we proceeded to walk away, I stopped suddenly. “Hold on a second Mom, just let me tie my shoe back up”.
Little Kid technique? I never knew there was more than one way. I only know the one way, so either I learned the normal way initially or have been doing little kid technique my whole life ignorant of the fact there is any other way.
Bunny ears, that could be the adult way, right?
I’m with you. I only learned the one way. Then again, it might be one of those things where I learned so long ago I’ve just managed to start doing it the “correct” way over time.
Yeah, same way always. But the joke here is that the kid way is to cry until someone does it for you.
5 points to Chuck!
Ahh. But I recalled hearing some time in my past that there actually was a grown up way to tie shoes, and I hadn’t learned it. Then I forgot and played more pokémons. Until now!
I don’t even wear shoes anymore. I either step into a pair of sandals or wear my Vibrams (I have four pairs.), all of which have Velcro fasteners.
NAME — Get a Gravatar