I remember when I was a kid I was afraid of getting bad dreams from watching scary movies. Occasionally I would see my parents watching the news and tune it out as incomprehensible boring adult stuff. Now the news is distilled horrors worse than any monsters from my childhood dreams.
This is extra bad for me because of my bad eyesight. I take my glasses off in the shower and so if I happen to notice a dark blob on the wall my brain imagines the most horrible bug possible. No wait, that’s just a pattern in the shower curtain. Please just be a pattern in the shower curtain.
The best is when your long lost friend is the cashier. Not only is it impossible to make a quick exit but they get to handle all your stuff and question you about it.
“So… I see you are really into cheese now.”
There were some problems with the pipes when we first moved in to our current house. The water would drain in the bathtub but not as fast as the shower would fill it up. It was a sort of built in timer to prevent anyone from hogging the shower.
As an adult I have learned that when I am going to eat something like Cheetos I should get a bowl, put some Cheetos in the bowl, put the giant 5lb bag back in the pantry, then go sit on the couch to eat them. This never occurred to me when I was younger. Back then it was more like bring the bag to the couch, hit play on the movie, open bag of Cheetos, eat mindlessly, be surprised when the bag is suddenly empty an there is 90 minutes of movie left.
